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A candid chat about 2019

This was originally going to be titled “wow 2019 sucked ass” but then life decided to throw me another curveball and my luck changed completely. It was insane. Within the space of 3 days, my entire outlook on life changed entirely.

I’ll save the specifics for my Monthly #5; right now, we’re just going to look at 2019 as a whole and chat quite candidly about it all. I’m going to be using my previous Monthly posts from the rest of the year as a base for everything i talk about, so if you want more details on everything you can find those posts here.

I had such big plans for 2019. Really, huge plans. It was going to be this amazing year and i was going to really thrive. And it did start off that way! I found a new hobby, i went off on a spontaneous trip to Sweden and i had started searching for a job that would fulfil my creativity a little more.

Don’t get me wrong, i loved my job and most of the people i worked with. Some people, not so much, but you’ll find that wherever you go. I just felt it was time for a change and to go somewhere that i could learn a bit more and develop my marketing skills.

The new job came, and almost as soon as i started it, i realised it was a mistake. It wasn’t right for me and i felt very limited in terms of what i could do creatively. All round, a bad experience and not one i’m keen to relive any time soon. I spent a lot of time wishing i had never handed in my notice at my first workplace though.

I’m not normally one to wish for things in the past to change. I’m definitely of the mindset that things happen for a reason and sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones to thrive, but the whole thing really threw me off and for a good 5 months i just wasn’t myself.

I definitely went on the defence. I complained about life being unfair a lot. Definitely felt like i was being punished for something as i couldn’t find a job and just felt extremely lost in general. Basically, 2019 went tits up the second i handed in my notice.

Me losing my job also resulted in me losing some of the people i considered to be my closest friends. Now, 6 months on, i’ve come to realise they were not the friendships i needed to grow as a person and if your friends don’t bring out the best in you, what’s the point?!

Blogging has brought me some of the most amazing friends ever and i feel so lucky to have found some incredible people that have stuck by me throughout everything that’s happened. People that will ask me to go to Sweden with them on a whim, or stay out until 3am just having the best time in the world.

I don’t feel sad about any of those losses. I love the friends i have now and wouldn’t dream of doing anything differently in terms of that. Some friendships are only meant to last a year, others stand the test of time more solidly.

I also don’t feel angry about any of this anymore. I did for a while, but growing up i’ve learned that you just can’t hold onto that anger because it doesn’t help anything. This is where my “everything happens for a reason” mantra comes in and i believe those friendships had to end for me to continue thriving and improving as a person.

Money has been a very touchy subject this year. If you didn’t know, i am extremely bad with money and at saving money so when i lost my job with very little money in reserve for something like this happening, i was fucked.

I managed to temp for a while to pay my bills and got quite a bit of blogging work, but most of those invoices are still outstanding now. Despite this, i’m very lucky to have parents that are in a strong position financially and i absolutely recognise this privilege.

Even my dad said that if this situation had happened a few years earlier, he wouldn’t have been able to help me out. I didn’t get lucky getting fired, but i got lucky with the timing, funnily enough. Got fired at the beginning of summertime when my family are loaded. Sick.

I’m joking by the way. I asked my parents for money twice in 6 months to help me out with my car payments and i’m not ashamed of this. I was the one who couldn’t save money and burned it like it was nothing, i did what i had to do and i’ve had a massive wake up call.

Having no money makes you more frugal. I’ve lived off about £100 max of spending money a month so i know i can do that now. 2020 is the year that i learn to budget properly. 

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So, it all changed one Monday evening at the start of December. I had interviewed for a job the Friday prior and really wanted it as it was part-time, just down the road and still well paid. Astonishingly, i got the phone call for the job at quarter to 5 in the evening whilst i was on my way out for my little sisters birthday.

My new workplace is amazing. I started after we got back from Japan for 2 days, then went off on my Christmas break. They’re very flexible with my hours and have a calendar of events and monthly themes already in place for me to work with which is amazingly helpful.

It means i still have loads of time to work on my blog and instagram and build that up, as i’ll be part-time marketing and part-time blogger. My plan is to use my salary for bills and living, and whatever i make from blogging/instagram goes straight into my savings. Watch my insta earnings completely plateau now…Oop.

Then, a few days after this news, i came into some family money which meant i didn’t have to worry about January’s bills before i got paid and was able to reach my 2019 savings goal immediately, which i didn’t even think would happen. To be fair, my 2019 goal was only a grand but with no job, there was no way i was gonna reach it.

2019 has been a pretty good year for travel, now that i think about it. My original goal was to visit somewhere new every month but that idea went down the shitter very quickly after realising i have literally no money.

I’ve visited Sweden, Luxembourg, Loch Tay, Ayr, Charleroi, Paris and Japan. Pretty good going! The trips in Scotland actually ended up being some of my favourite – sometimes a staycation is exactly what you need.

Overall, 2019 has been quite a year. I’ve grown a lot as a person and realised a lot about myself as well. I am genuinely looking forward to 2020 and everything it has to offer. I think next year is when i’ll make big improvements in my savings and my life in general.

Have you enjoyed 2019?

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