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The dramatic self haircut and why it’s never a good idea

My all time worst trait is impatience. When i want something, i want it now and there’s very little that’ll stop me, especially if it’s something like a haircut. I have a bad track record of giving myself awful haircuts and i don’t seem to be stopping.

I tend to cut my hair myself, dramatically, at least once a year. The few months break allows me to get over the trauma of the last time, conveniently forget and go grab the kitchen scissors again. If you listen closely, you can hear the hairdressers screaming.

I suppose it’s because i feel like everything is out of control right now. My life feels a little turbulent and i wanted to do something for myself, by myself, and that made me feel like a new woman about to lead a new life. I just wanted to look different to normal.

So what does she do? She cuts in a fucking fringe. The one thing you should never, ever do is cut in a fringe yourself. And yet i’ve done it twice. TWICE. I cannot be trusted, clearly.

I used to trim my own hair all the time, before i had it done regularly. Then, i was somehow able to afford to have it done every 6 weeks. No idea how. Working full time meant i couldn’t get those mid-week sweet spots and was forced to wait longer for Saturday appointments.

And then i lost my job. So i got my midweek freedom back, but i lost all my money. There was no winning. So feeling the need for re-invention, i took matters into my own hands.

I just get bored so easily. That’s why i went blonde, so i could put in various other colours and i wouldn’t feel the itch to make a change like cutting my hair. It sounds stupid, but having my hair done regularly stopped me ruining my own life with kitchen scissors.

In case you’re wondering, yes i do regret it. I regretted it immediately after doing it. Especially since i cut it wrong and went too far down near my ears and now i can’t do a half up-do without two pieces of crescent moon shaped hair ruining my day.

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That is also the norm – regretting my choices immediately after i make them. At least this fringe is easier to grow out than the last one because i kept it wispy. We don’t talk about growing out the last one. What we should talk about is why the trauma of that didn’t stop me cutting in another one.

You will always regret cutting your own hair. Haircuts and tattoos are two things you should never, ever cheap out on. I’ve cheaped out on both and regretted it. 

So, how do we stop those “i must give myself a haircut immediately” urges? Well, i have a few ideas for the next time.

  • Buy a clip on fringe. This seems extremely sensible. Too sensible. Also costs money. Probably won’t do but a definite option if you, too, keep finding yourself with the urge to cut one in.
  • Semi-permanent colour. My favourite thing to do. Chose not to because i was working in quite a corporate place at the time. I always go for pink or peach and it looks bomb. Would recommend.
  • Go the f*ck to sleep. Everyone’s favourite bedtime story. I dunno about you but i always get the urge to chop at nighttime. If so, just go to sleep. I might have to pin this up as a reminder for myself next time.
  • Do your makeup differently. If your gripe is that you want to look different, makeup might be your best friend. A different coloured lipstick, more eyeshadow than normal or a big cat eye wing could save your hair and your dignity.

I might start a “help i can’t stop cutting my hair myself” support group. No judgement. Hairstyle suggestions that will make it less obvious you butchered your own hair. We need to protect each other.

Are you prone to an at-home haircut, or are you sensible?

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