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The Monthly #3: a mid-year chat

It baffles me that we’re halfway through the year already. I don’t know where the time goes; everything is happening so quickly and i still feel like i’ve accomplished nothing.

Anyway, it’s time for our bi-monthly catch up! And this time i want it to be a bit of a mid-year chat and i’ll hopefully touch on some of the things i want to accomplish over the next half of the year.

Buckle up cos it’s a long post this Sunday!

Game of Thrones ended.

This stupid tv show has had a surprisingly huge effect on my life since i started watching it. I always claimed fantasy shows weren’t my thing, i wasn’t into dragons and made up stuff or whatever. Boy, am i glad i binned that view.

The final season was a bit controversial. I felt the whole thing was way too rushed and although it wasn’t the ending i would’ve liked, i would’ve enjoyed it way more had it not been squeezed into 6 episodes.

Episode 3, the long night, the battle with the Night King, is the best tv experience i’ve ever had. I’ve watched that episode about 5 times now. It is just the most incredible thing i’ve ever watched and i wish the rest of the season had that impact.

But anyway, two GoT tattoos later and i’ve filled the void of my favourite show being gone forever with one sure to keep me busy for months; the X Files. Hello 1094482304 seasons.

I got a few new tattoos.

2 Game of Thrones tattoos, you say? Why yes, i did get another one, thank you for noticing. As well as my dragon babies that i got a few months ago, i went back to Melissa to get an Arya Stark one. A simple little “no one” right next to my dragons because we love strong women. (don’t speak to me about Daenerys)

At the same time, i decided to make a start on the back of my arms. I’ve never liked that they were bare but i’m not 100% sure on what i want to do with the space yet, so i opted for a wee one to further enforce the girl power.

Women support women. I’ve had a rough few months with female friends who haven’t been there for me when i needed them, so this tattoo is in honour of the few that are always there for me. 

I started a new pill.

FINALLY. After not menstruating for 6 months, i finally accepted it wasn’t going to happen and went to the doctors to go back on contraception. I have since menstruated, in case anyone was wondering, so it’s all good in there.

It’s bloody terrifying starting a new pill (which i did write about) and the skeptic in me is adamant that the mood swings, weight gain and acne will all come back worse than ever, but i’m two months in now and still feel like myself. So far so good!

I also had my first experience with a mooncup this month, during my first period this year, and it went about as well as i could’ve predicted. I also wrote about that in a painfully honest post you can find here.

I went to Luxembourg.

Unsatisfied with my lack of travelling this year, Max and i booked an impromptu, very last minute trip to Luxembourg for a few days. It’s a place i’d been itching to go to for all of 3 minutes since deciding on a trip, and it was the cheapest, so why not?

Luxembourg is a very, very beautiful place but once you’ve been for a day, there’s not much need to go back. We managed to do a LOT in the 48 hours we were there and we didn’t spend much money at all.

I wrote a post about everything we got up to which you can find here. I’d definitely recommend a visit when RyanAir do their seat sale, just a day is long enough to do the majority of things within the city.

I lost my job.

Aaaaand here’s the doozy. Absolutely lol-ing at the fact that in my last Monthly, i spoke about how i basically bagged my dream job and i was so happy there and felt it was the right move. The wind changed in an instant on that one and i very quickly grew to hate it.

See Also

You bet your ass i’ll be writing about the whole experience shortly but basically they decided not to extent my contract and sent me home that same day, without a job or any clue what i was going to do next. 

They didn’t treat me well at all in the end, so the bad feelings i had about that place ended up being justified and i’m better off out of there. I didn’t expect to lose a handful of friends the same week i lost my job, but hey, that’s life.

It’s true when they say things like this make you realise who your real friends are. I’d be lying if i said i wasn’t upset, but not everyone will give me the same attention they give a tv show and that’s not the people i need or want in my life. Even just writing it makes me super sad.

What else?

  • I hit 9k followers. This was pretty exciting and crazy! I wanted to get to 10k by summer but that didn’t quite work, so i’ll settle for 9. 10 by Christmas, maybe?
  • I worked with: Dior, Cocktails in the City, Virtuo and Ellesse x Very. I’ve loved working with Cocktails in the City and i got to judge this year, which was the most fun. I got super drunk, of course. Working with Dior was insane, working with Virtuo was crazy because i got a Mercedes for a few days, and i have my new favourite slip-on shoes thanks to Ellesse.
  • I went to: Harvey Nichols breakfasts (Hourglass + Huda Beauty) and Moonpig’s Fathers Day event. The breakfasts were an entirely new scene for me and i feel so lucky that i was able to go and try out some incredible brands that were new to my collection. The Fathers Day event was a blast thanks to my loveys Ysabelle and Alisha, we drank way too much prosecco and had a good girly chat.

What next?

  • I guess i kind of need a job, huh? I’ve been sending off a ton of applications every day and haven’t been too successful yet but i’m trying not to give up hope. Something is out there for me and it’ll be the start of a whole new chapter in my life.
  • I’m going to do a TEFL qualification. I actually bought the online course a few days before i got fired, with the intention of doing it during the day they asked me to drop. I, of course, haven’t done any of it since despite having dropped all 5 of my days at work, but i have every intention of finishing it by the end of the year.

And that’s all i’ve got so far. The rest of the year is a great big question mark and i genuinely have no idea what i’m going to end up doing. It’s a little scary.

I’m carrying a lot of hatred and anger right now. Anger towards the people who fired me so cruelly, anger towards the friends who never really cared about me, anger about life in general just not being what i want.

Trying to figure out what to do, even just for the next few months, is exhausting. I’m so emotionally exhausted after these past few weeks and i need to find a new way to release some of the anger i’m holding onto. I don’t like being so unhappy all the time.

So, to sum up, June has been a massive shit pie. I could not have imagined a worse month. I’m trying to treat it as a turning point for 2019 and the next half of the year just has to be amazing, right?

After choosing to leave my good job where i worked with someone i would consider a good friend, to being totally alienated and treated like shit and being fired, losing friends and worrying about money for 3 weeks straight, i could use some positivity.

Send all the good vibes you have going spare!

View Comments (2)
  • I’m really sorry to hear that you’re having a shit time. It sounds like it was probably a blessing in disguise losing the job though as they don’t sound like a company you want to be wasting your time on. Someone once told me to never let someone else’s empire upset you 💕 I always used to think I wanted some high flying career (I have a degree in graphic design) but over recent years I’ve realised I work so I can pay the bills and I prefer to enjoy my life outside of work and focus on things I like to do … So I started an office administration job. The job is ok, I love the people I work with and I carry no stress at all meaning outside of work I can live the life I want and enjoy myself ☺️ I hope things start to pick up for you and if you ever need someone to talk to my inbox is always open. I know how much it sucks to lose friends who you thought cared! Sending you lots of positive vibes ❤️

    • This is one of the most reassuring comments i’ve ever had! I think i’m like you, i think i want a more established career than i actually want, if that makes sense? I feel like just an easy office admin job where i can come home and leave work behind is what i’d like. Hearing you say it makes it sound so much better! Jobs are such a tricky thing, they take up so much time of your life that if you start to hate it, your whole life feels off. I’m hoping things will turn around for me soon and a new job will take my mind off all the other shit that’s been going on! 🙂

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