I’ve been in a bit of a slump this week. I’ve had no motivation to do anything and have just wanted to kind of mope around in bed watching old episodes of Drag Race. This is my attempt to get out of my slump; by writing about all the habits i want to try and make, plus all the habits i want to try and break. ‘Try’ being the key word.
This is something i keep coming back to, then giving up on, and repeat x 20. I used to go to the gym all the time and worked out almost daily – it was probably one of the better times in my life despite being really unhappy with my job.
Now, i work full time and i’ve been making excuses ever since. I’m still trying to find out what kind of exercise i enjoy; my anxiety means i can’t go to the gym so my only option is home workouts, classes or going running. I’ve briefly tried running and didn’t love it but i don’t want to write it off entirely.
For me, i want to feel healthy. I know my diet is really poor and i feel horrible being so unfit and inactive. It’ll pay off later in life if i can get my health under control right now.
I got into the habit of doing this last summer and then kinda fell out of it because you’re totally covered up in winter anyway, so why bother?? Now that it’s getting into the warmer months again, i’m determined to start up again.
One of the biggest reasons why i moisturise my body twice a day now is because of acne. I find cocoa butter to be the best thing for the acne on my chest and shoulders, i think it’s the vitamin e. It doesn’t totally heal it but it definitely takes the edge off. Body acne is bloody sore.
2L of water
I used to be so good at getting my 2L a day in, and i felt incredible because of it. My pores were smaller, my skin felt nicer and i just felt like a million dollars. I’m back on track now, but seem to give up around the 1.5L mark.
The first bottle is always the hardest to drink – i use a Chillys bottle which holds 500ml and i set myself the goal of drinking one by 11am. It normally gets to 10.30am and i haven’t had any of it, so i force it down to meet my target. After that, i become so thirsty that i’m picking up my bottle and drinking all the time. And peeing all the time. The one downside.
I am the least tidy person in the whole world. Literally ask anyone, they will tell you. I’m desperately trying to become a clean person, a person with minimal clutter and who always hoovers. I’m going against every nature i have ever known.
I think it is partly due to Mrs Hinch. Say what you want about her, but if she can motivate me to tidy then she must be a god. Seriously. I completely decluttered my entire room last week and i’m making a conscious effort to keep it tidy. I put clothes away instantly, everything has a place inside a drawer, and i feel a lot better.
I did have a little moment where i felt so defeated by how messy my room was. I genuinely didn’t know where to start or if i’d ever be able to have a tidy room. And yes, i did cry over it. But we’ve come out the other end now!
This is my WORST habit. It’s one i’ve tried to break for years and years with no luck – i always end up relapsing whenever i feel anxious or have a spare minute where my hands aren’t busy.
I’ve tried fake nails, i’ve tried that stuff that tastes horrible, and it works for a while but then i get too complacent and stop using it and we’re back to square one. I never ever talk about it because i’m embarrassed and don’t think this should be a problem i have.
I have it in my head that if i don’t stay up scrolling twitter until the last possible minute, i’m going to miss something super important. I don’t know what would be important enough to warrant staying up until midnight & getting 6 hours sleep when i know i need at least 8 to function, but there we go.
There was a brief but beautiful time where i would go to sleep at 10 and get up at 6. I managed to read and shower in the time during getting home from work and going to bed, and it was probably the closest i’ve been to a good sleeping routine. Now that i get home from work later (almost 2 hours later than with my old job), i feel like i need to make up for it by staying up later. Ok hun.
I feel like i’m getting this under control a lot more now, but as it was one of my worse habits, i’m just waiting for a relapse. I’ve spoken about my out of control shopping habits before and i’m trying to be a lot more open about how shit i am with money; my biggest flaw is that i shop too much.
Now, i think i’m a lot better at shopping my wardrobe. I don’t see every day as an excuse to be mega fashionable and i don’t feel pressured to buy new clothes for every instagram shoot i do. It all starts with your mindset, once that has changed you’ll be able to tackle the habits head on. I’m halfway there.
I do this really stupid thing where if i was to do something, even something as simple as asking my boss a question, i’ll hesitate. I’ll think about if it’s the right time, which way round the computer should i lean, should i say her name first? What if my voice comes out all wobbly?
I’m trying to get rid of that and refuse to let myself think these things. I second guess myself all the time for the most stupid little things and it’s about time that stops. I’m more capable than i think i am.
This one kinda links into the previous point because with hesitancy comes excuses. The pause in decision making allows for the excuses to come flooding in, and i need to not let that stupid little voice dictate what i do and don’t do.
I wanted to start running last week because i felt like i was ready to get back into fitness, finally. I started to create excuses like i’m too tired, i don’t know what way to go, i don’t know if these trainers are right for running…all complete bullshit and i had to actually say to myself to stop making excuses and just go. I know when i’m doing it, which makes it a lot easier to quash.