Ooh, hello fancy new wordpress editor. I have a feeling this post will take me a while to write because i have no bloody clue what i’m looking at right now.
Anyway, as per the yearly norm, i’ve decided to chat a little bit about what i want to achieve next year and how this year has been. I wasn’t really sure whether or not to split these into two separate posts (one for the reflection, one for the plans for next year) but nah, screw it, i’m just combining them. Soz if it’s super long.
2018 in review
At the start of this year, i pretty much rebranded myself and my content but without actually rebranding. If that even makes sense.
I vowed to myself that i wanted to start creating less content, but better content, and writing things i could be proud of and actually enjoyed. I try to stick to a rough word count and won’t really settle for less, because i wanted my posts to be a lot more than two paragraphs about a mascara. I also migrated over to WordPress and bought a shiny new pipdig theme, all on the same pay i went to Paris with. In hindsight, that wasn’t smart and ya girl has been struggling financially ever since.
My instagram has been through a bit of a wild ride this year. I think i wanna do a “my instagram journey” post in the new year so i won’t go too in depth right now, but i’ve experimented a lot with my grid this year. I think i’ve finally found my style for the winter-time, but i’ll be starting the whole process all over again when it comes to spring and it’s time for another mini instagram rebrand. It’s good fun though, i’ve fallen in love with instagram big time in 2018 and i’m hoping that 2019 will be the year i hit the big ol’ 10k.
I don’t want to talk about all the events and stuff that have happened this year because i do a bi-monthly review to talk about all of that – no sense repeating myself, so if you wanna have a nosy at what i actually did this year, you can find all my monthly reflection posts here.
All in all, i’ve felt very positively about 2018. I think it’s been a good year and now that we’re nearing the end, i feel like i’ve changed yet again (in a good way) and 2019 is set to be the best year. I feel a lot more in control of my mood swings and things like that, which was the one thing i’ve been struggling with for a few years now. I think i’m slowly growing into the person i’m meant to be. As awful and cheesy as that sounds.
looking forward to 2019
Now for the bit i’ve been excited about! What i wanna do in 2019. I’ve already got a couple of exciting things planned and i honestly can’t wait for the new year, which is very unlike me. Usually i find i just…don’t care. It’s just another year, whatever. But this time, i’m excited. Weird feeling.
I want to try things i’ve never done before.
I have booked in to learn aerial arts. I know. Me. Me who can’t do a handstand because she’s worried her neck will snap. Is going to learn how to do trapeze and fly in the air and stuff. I’m a little worried, but i feel like it’s gonna be so much fun.
This came about because i hate the gym with a burning passion. I’ve tried 3 or 4 times now to get into the gym, and at this stage in my life it’s just not working for me. I just can’t seem to make it work for me, and i was annoyed about that for a little while but now i’m focusing on finding something else to keep me fit. Something fun like aerial arts or dancing or something would be perfect. So i’m giving it a go!
I’m really keen to expand on my hobbies this year and find some more things that i enjoy doing. My only hobby right now is blogging, and whilst that is a good hobby, it’s not a very sociable one. It would be nice to meet some new people, learn some new skills and just experiment a little with extra-curriculars.
I want to learn how to be alone.
This is quite a recent thing that i’ve realised about myself, and it’s something i’d like to slowly change and work on throughout 2019. It’s the kind of thing that i can’t really push myself on, i gotta take it slow or i’ll probably freak the hell out.
I’m not good at doing things by myself. Going to the shops, going to get a coffee, going to get petrol. All things i find much easier when someone else is with me. I have no idea why. I tend to avoid certain things because i just feel like i can’t do it by myself, people will be looking at me and judging me and i just want to avoid that.
I’m gonna start by encouraging myself to go for walks on my lunch break. Probably when it gets a little bit warmer though, and i’m not as broke from the results of Christmas so i can get a coffee. If i start encouraging myself to tackle these little things a bit more, i’m hoping i’ll find it easier. I want to eventually build up to sitting in a cafe by myself, maybe going to see a film by myself or something like that. I’m happy to be by myself in my home or at work, but any situation where i’m outside, i need company.
I want to make more of an effort.
I’m extremely flaky. Probably voted most likely to cancel in every yearbook. And i can’t even deny it, i cancel on almost everything unless i’m going with Louise because we encourage each other. Otherwise, i’ll probably lie and say i have to work to get out of going.
I think this is kind of related to the previous point – if i’m going to these things by myself, i’m likely to not go. I’ll fool myself into thinking i can handle it and then the closer it gets to said event, the worse i feel and then i eventually end up cancelling. It’s reeeeeally bad.
SO what i’m gonna do about it is, ask if i can bring someone with me. Until i work on being able to go to the shops by myself, i don’t think i’ll be able to go to events by myself. If i ask and they say yes – great, i’ll be there! If not, i’ll be able to give the correct answer when i’m supposed to instead of lying to myself and then flaking.
Basically, i want to be a bit more confident in 2019 and work on actually enjoying myself and having a life instead of retreating to my safe house (my bedroom) and staying there all week. I also still want to try and save money. Because i’m not good at that. But let’s not make that one an official thing because i have a feeling i’ll still be really bad at it. I’m pretty much gonna keep my blog the same, i’m pretty chuffed with my content and the low-pressure style of blogging i’ve gone for.
So yea. That’s the plan for the next year. Basically, stop being a weeny and learn how to be an extra in The Greatest Showman.