I’ve always been a dreamer. That’s why I’m so good at creative writing. My head is rooted in the clouds and very rarely am I grounded and thinking about the present. I love to imagine how my life could change; I’m always thinking about the next chapter of my life and seem to be unable to enjoy the one I’m currently in. I suppose it means I’m constantly striving for improvement, I’m never happy to settle and I want to be better than I currently am. I see it as a positive trait. When the dreams turn into unhappiness, it creates a motivation in me to do something, anything, to make my life better.
I’ve been doing an awful lot of thinking [dreaming] lately. About my life, whether or not I’m happy, and what I actually want to do with myself for the next few years. I was inspired to think about this whilst sitting in my room with my boyfriend at the weekend. He was car shopping, I was blog post planning, and I was inspired. I’ll go into it more later because I know it sounds a little strange right now but it has a genuine reason behind it.
I feel extremely fed up when I’m at home for too long. I was extremely lucky with how I was raised, I was taken on a lot of amazing holidays every year and although sometimes I struggle being away from home & out of my comfort zone, I definitely caught the travel bug early. I now feel like I need a holiday or trip away at least once a year, and I’m lucky that I can afford to do that as I have a full time job. I’m in a really lucky position for being only 20 years old, and I forget that I’m still so young and have plenty of time to do all the things I want to do. The mindset nowadays seems to be that your 20s is the time to do everything and to see everything, and I can’t help but feel like I’m running out of time. I can feel all you late-20s year olds rolling your eyes at me.
I always joke that I was meant to be a travel agent, because I’m constantly pricing and planning holidays. My boyfriend doesn’t care whether we go on holiday or not (I think he’d really prefer not to) so it’s left on me to plan the costs and where we’re going to go. I don’t mind though, I do it for fun in my spare time. It seems silly, but I don’t want to travel with anyone else. So if I have to wait for him to finish university before we go on a big travelling holiday, I will. He’s the instagram boyfriend and I can’t go travelling with someone who doesn’t know my style of photos. Did someone say vain?
Now, linking back to the second paragraph when he was car shopping and I had an epiphany. We always talk about pulling out the back of an estate car or one of those cute little camper vans and putting a mattress in and renovating it, and going travelling in it. It was often a jokey mention and neither of us thought the other was serious, I didn’t even think I was serious. I can be a bit high maintenance and need my own bathroom – staying in a hostel is my idea of a nightmare and even just the thought of it makes me extremely anxioud. But the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with the idea. Then he showed me one of those cute little Volkswagen buses, and it was orange, and I fell in love. It’s such a Pinterest thing to dream about and I feel like a bit of a cliche but I mean, I always dream about a life with very little responsibility. Aside from keeping yourself alive, I’d say that was pretty low responsibility.
I always holiday in Europe. Pretty much always have, aside from a trip to Canada and Florida when I was really little. Europe is lovely, don’t get me wrong, there are so many amazing cities and countries to visit at a lower cost. I haven’t even covered a quarter of what there is to see in Europe, but it just doesn’t feel like enough sometimes. When I look at a world map, it seems so stupid that I confine most of my holidays to this tiny little section when there’s the whole world out there. The hardest part is costs. Whilst I’d be able to afford it with minimal worry, the only person I want to go with would maybe struggle right now. But I suppose that’s the issue with choosing different paths and having different lives – you just have to hope that one day they’ll join up and it’ll be fine.
I dream a lot about moving out into a proper house. Another dream that is unlikely to become reality any time soon. I want to furnish my own house – I want a big kitchen because I do enjoy cooking, I just never do it because I still live at home and I’m lucky enough that my mum makes dinner every night. I want guest bedrooms and I want to go all Zoella up in here and treat my guests. My bedroom may be a mess but if I had space, more importantly my own space, I would make it somewhere I could be proud of. So now, alongside looking at sacking everything in and going travelling forever, I’m also looking at buying a house. Us millennials. Pfft.
One dream that I can actually manage fairly soon is financing my own car. I was bought a car for my birthday a few years ago and even after a fair few bumps, it’s still going strong. I’ve just outgrown it now, it’s pretty old and I’m thinking about what I want next. I’m pretty much settled on what I want and my impatient little soul just wants it right now, but I have to be patient this time because I can’t afford a deposit thanks to the millions of clothes I bought (which stops now), so I need a bit of saving first. It’s exciting because this will be the first big purchase I’ve bought myself. It’s all mine and I paid for it and I work for that money – it’s a pretty cool feeling!
Maybe one day I’ll start acting on the majority of my daydreams instead of just creating the scenarios and letting them die. There’s a lot I want to do, in terms of my career and my life in general, that I’ve not really shared with anyone. I am a really motivated person, but at the same time I’m super lazy. I know what I want, but can’t really be bothered to go and get it. Standard.
What do you dream about?