How’s that for a ridiculously dramatic title?
There’s probably some people that are reading this like ‘how could this EVER happen?!’ and probably at one point I was also that person but right now, I have fallen out of love with it and it kinda sucks.
Over the past few weeks I’ve just not felt like doing my makeup properly or really trying to make an effort at all – I pretty much use the bare minimum on my face right now which could be because I’m exhausted from getting up at 6.30 every morning for work and I don’t actually want to get up any earlier in order to do a full face of makeup, but even at weekends I just wish I had nice enough skin to go completely makeup free. There’s no products that seem to work for my skin or my face anymore; every single foundation I tried just didn’t want to work and kept going all oily or dry, I couldn’t find a happy medium so I’ve completely given up on foundation and I’m just using concealer now. Even if I did have a foundation that I loved using, I doubt I’d use it very often because, as I said, early ass mornings and I value sleep over looking good. I genuinely just refuse to buy makeup anymore, it’s not something I want to spend my money on. I used to be the first person to go and spend a shit tonne on new foundations or highlighter but it just doesn’t seem like something I want to splurge on. It seems pointless when I wear it so little.
It always feels like makeup just doesn’t suit me; every time I do eyeliner I’m like “why doesn’t it look like it does on that person?” or “why does this look like complete shit?” and then I wipe it off in a huff and look ridiculous for the rest of the day. It sounds really stupid but it feels like my eye shape just doesn’t suit eyeliner, and I have researched different eyeliner for different eye shapes but it doesn’t seem to make a difference for me. Also, eyeshadow. People who can do any decent eyeshadow are wizards. No matter what colours I use or what palette I use, it always ends up a massive mess of brown. Which doesn’t even make sense because I use pinks and reds and I STILL get brown?! I just don’t understand it. And I haven’t had the time, patience or willpower to actually sit and figure out how to do it, so I just don’t. I have so many gorgeous eyeshadow palettes that don’t get used but I’m very reluctant to sell them because I do love them and maybe one day I’ll be amazing at it. I can dream.
I’m just moaning for the sake of it really, it’s not a massive issue. I think I need to focus on making my skin better rather than trying to cover it. Investing in skincare seems like a much more worthwhile purchase to me than a new foundation or new mascara. It’s a bit annoying because I love beauty blogging, as much stick as us beauty bloggers get, I love that little community all sharing their favourite makeup looks and everything. I started off as a beauty blogger, and I slowly integrated fashion and lifestyle in and now it seems I am predominantly lifestyle – which is okay! I’m growing and changing and so is my blog, hopefully after this little rubbish spell is over I’ll be back to loving makeup and wanting to spend all my money on makeup that I use maybe twice a month. Joys.